Alright, its time to take off the P.C. ‘please everyone’ hat. So. Over. That.
I try to be a people pleaser. Of course, I have my opinions, that I am usually pretty bold with, but you’ll only hear them if you are in my inner circle, of which there are only a few people. This might surprise you… and then, maybe it won’t… but it NEEDS to be said.
This life I am living… guess what, its MY life. I make the choices. I pay the consequences. I reap the rewards. Whatever the case may be.
These kids? They’re mine (yes, and Jeremiah’s). They literally were cut from my body, were fed by my body for months (and months and months…. ), they’re cared for by us, fed by us, we are their parents. It seems clear, but apparently it isn’t.
You see, when Brooke was a baby, I was young and really didn’t know what I was doing… I was making it up as I went along (first kid problems). I took a lot of advice, some that I still use, some that I don’t. And guess what? She is an awesome kid. Despite whatever mistakes I have made, and will keep making, she is fucking awesome. Hard working, loving, kind, smart, driven, the best big sister. She is strong, and bold, and hilarious. She is perfectly imperfect.
When we decided to expand our family, I knew I wanted to do things differently. I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but I just knew that something needed to be changed. Sure, many things were different, like the obvious, a girl versus a boy. Night and day difference there folks.
We skipped the crib with Bryce, he slept with me from day 1. I rocked him to sleep for every single nap or bedtime until… well, until I didn’t need to anymore. All of a sudden, he was ok to lay by himself and go to sleep… for months after I kissed him and said goodnight he would ask me if I would watch him on the monitor. “Yes baby, I’ll watch you” and then he would roll over and go to sleep.
With Everett, kind of out of desperation, we just followed the same path. And its working. It works for US. Sure, sometimes getting kicked in the head and the back at the same time, from two different kids, sucks, but usually, the snuggles cannot be beat. And this time, it goes so fast, we won’t get it back. So yes, we will cuddle them to their hearts content. Am I worried about spoiling them? Nope. Because when we are ready for something to change, we will approach it gently and slowly, and without tears.
Bryce moved to his big boy bed this week. Sure, he is in our bedroom, but he is in his own bed. And he has slept great every night so far. Im sure there will be rough nights, but at this point, we are SO proud of him, and he is proud of himself. It is the sweetest thing to wake up to his smiling face in the morning saying “mommy, I sleeped in my big bed all myself!” I mean, could he be any cuter?!
It might not seem conventional to you, but for us this is what works. We feed our kids whatever they will eat, thankfully Brooke and Everett are usually happy to eat whatever I made, but Bryce, he can often be found eating a granola bar, ice cream, fruit snacks or mac-n-cheese for dinner… it just isn’t worth fighting with him. The more I fight, the less he will eat, and damnit, we just need him to sleep so we can sleep! I have adapted a phrase that I use constantly with him, it goes like this “You don’t have to eat it.” It has stopped many battles. Fighting over food isn’t healthy. It creates issues that can last a lifetime. I don’t like it. Thankfully dinner is usually the biggest battle meal… breakfast and lunch I can serve healthier options and he will *usually* eat them.
I’ll stop beating around the bush. We feel your judgment. We know you don’t agree with some of our choices. But guess what, we don’t care. Not because we are terrible people. Not because we don’t love you. Not because we think you’re wrong. Not because we don’t respect you. But because we are just trying to keep the peace in our family. We have learned that every child has their own quirks and we are trying to learn how best to manage them, while also functioning somewhat normally.
How long will Everett nurse? I mean, I don’t know… he probably will wean himself before college, but if not, I guess he better choose somewhere his dad and I are willing to live. When will Bryce be potty trained? Hopefully soon, I’d love to stop changing pull-ups, but when he is ready, it’ll click, until then… I change pull ups. Why is Brooke home-schooled? Because we are happy with her school, and we were sick of her being bullied and having nothing done about it. Why do I Posh? Because I need something that is fun, gives me adult interaction outside of my husband, and, here is the most important part, because I LOVE IT.
You don’t like my choices? Well, damn, I’m sorry. When my choices affect YOUR life, we can chat about it then. Otherwise, i’ll manage my family, and you can manage yours. Life is hard enough without all the negativity and judgment, lets just give love and agree to disagree and move the heck on.